(&& now the future knocks at my door)
“In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”
-Eric Hoffer
Well, here I am, 18 and trying to live life how I see fit. But already, this life has actually come. I’ve realized that I need to start saving so that I can afford to rent an apartment, if not a house. I need to get a cell phone without my mother’s name being on the bill. I have to face the fact that my “home life” is almost over. I won’t be able to rely on my family to take care me anymore. I’ll have to self-sufficient. I know how to be…I just don’t want to yet.
Being an “adult” is scary. I remember when I couldn’t wait to be 18. Now here I am, posed for life with roommate. Maybe a couple.
How weird.
I guess I am mostly afraid of having to run back to my family, should I fail. I don’t want to end like my mother and my aunt, who both live in my basement. I hate living with my grandmother as it is. Her constant scrutiny drives me insane. One would think that now I’m 18, she’d back off. She hasn’t. Surprise Surprise.
Another hitch in my future…
I have always kinda planned on living in the same town as my uncle so that I could be closer to my family, I mean the half that I actually need, and my best friends. But…the man I plan on loving forever, has different ideas. He is like against living there, because its small. Honestly, I don’t want to live in a city…I hate cities. Too many stupid people. I would rather live in a small town and have to drive to get to my job as a teacher then live in a city. But..his chosen career has special needs, that neither of us can just pull out our asses. And he was dead serious on not wanting to live down there. I get the feeling that he wants to live in an entirely different state, which scares me even more…
